Thursday 1 October 2009

Three short discoveries on letting go of fear


Number one: The tears that come

I had sat and told her that I knew that I had so much love to give and it was so easy to offer, but that deep down I was afraid I might love and give all my life and never be fully loved myself.

"Don't be afraid" she told me "of course you have fears, we all do, but that is just what they are, fears. By letting go of each fear you experience, by seeing it and what it is, you don't have to be that fear or be governed by it."

And the tears became a celebration of no longer needing to hold on to that fear, a gift of relief from the heaviest and most deeply carried burden.


Number two: Meandering

Cycling through London it seemed everyone in their cars was swearing and almost crying with the frustration of being a driver in rush hour. I imagined a film in which those awful moments when drivers really lose it, when they assault other road users, when they scream at themselves, were shown. Followed by the statement 'There is another way. Cycle'

Then a cyclist cut up another cyclist and they were swearing and everyone was annoyed at the log jam on the cycle lane. Nobody could see how beautiful the light was as the sun was in the final throws of setting.

So rather than stay on the main roads with everyone speeding to get to their next destination I took a different route. I didn't think about which way I would go or how convenient or fast it would be, I slowed right down and saw beautiful buildings and people walking along, enjoying the slight Autumn chill creeping in. If there is ever the option, if there is ever no real need to rush, we should take the time to let go of what we planned and see what happens!

Number three:

Remy, my friend from the street has called a few times now. Only the anger is getting less strong and he rang today to tell me, he wants his life. A life where he can connect with loving people, by taking care of them, by doing in the world what the people he knows have gone out of their way to destroy him can't. Rather like a candle, he will continue to blow in the wind but he has begun to see himself and the light in himself, and sooner than I think or we think, he could set the world on fire.

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